Jokes for today...

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus!!!


WIFE's DIARY

Sunday night - I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at
a cafe to have some coffee. I was shopping with my friends all day long,
so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no
comment.

Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we
could talk, he agreed but his mind was far away. I asked him what was
wrong - he said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was my fault that he was
upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.

On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept
driving.. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say, 'I
love u, too.'

When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do
with me anymore. He just sat there and watched TV; he seemed distant and
absent.

Finally I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed. I
decided that I could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront him with
the situation but he had fallen asleep. I started crying and cried until I
too fell asleep. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his
thoughts are with someone else.

My life is a disaster.

HUSBAND's DIARY

Today Liverpool lost again. Niamah.
______________________________________________________________________________________________

this is directly from the heart of a MR BOSS

----- Why I fired my Secretary.

Last week was my Birthday
and I didn't feel very well
waking up on that morning.

I went downstairs for breakfast
hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
'Happy Birthday!',
and possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out,
she barely said good morning,
let alone
' Happy Birthday.'

I thought...

Well, that's marriage for you,
but the kids...
They will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast
and didn't say a word.
So when I left for the office,
I felt pretty low
and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office,
my secretary Jane said,
'Good Morning Boss,
and by the way
Happy Birthday ! '
It felt a little better
that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock ,
when Jane knocked on my door
and said, 'You know,
It's such a beautiful day outside,
and it is your Birthday,
what do you say we go out to lunch,
just you and me.'
I said, 'Thanks, Jane,
that's the greatest thing
I've heard all day.
Let's go !'

We went to lunch.
But we didn't go
where we normally would go.
She chose instead at a quiet bistro
with a private table.
We had two martinis each
and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office,
Jane said, 'You know,
It's such a beautiful day....
We don't need to go straight back to the office,
Do We ?'

I responded,
'I guess not.
What do you have in mind ?'
She said,
'Let's drop by my apartment,
it's just around the corner.'

After arriving at her apartment,
Jane turned to me and said,
' Boss, if you don't mind,
I'm going to step into the bedroom
for just a moment.
I'll be right back.'
'Ok.' I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and,
after a couple of minutes,
she came out
carrying a huge Birthday cake ...
Followed
by my wife,
my kids,
and dozens of my friends
and co-workers,
all singing 'Happy Birthday'.


And I just sat there...



On the couch...

Naked.