More than just a sinking ship!

Titanic - The best piece during the 90s which blew everyone's mind away (that time) for it's realistic reincarnation of the tragic events of the sinking megaship on 15 April 1912. No doubt that everyone has watched one of the highest grossing movie of all time, only surpassed by James Cameron's very own Avatar, but upon rewatching it again last night I realised numerous points which we can learn from it in making sure we nail an A during relationships. Yeah, relationships woo! John WOO! Ok that's lame.

Prior to reading this, if you haven't watched Titanic before (WTF), go watch it. If you've watched it before, well, watch it again. If you don't give a flying damn about Titanic, well, GO WATCH IT.

Let's look at the supposedly "romantic" moments the main characters portrayed in the movie. Aww the lovely couple, Jack Dawson, played by the one and only Leonardo DiCaprio when he was still looking young, good and rather gay. Though it's much better than the old fart he looked like in Inception. And of course, Rose DeWitt Bukater, played by Kate Winslet, who never seems to grow old.

Seriously, Rose DEWITT BUKATER? LOL name but I guess poor Jack fell for her boobs.

Anyway, to my point,

1) KNOW WHERE TO HOLD THE GIRL

So they first met at the stern of the ship. Rose was about to jump to freeze her boobs off and die a sad death until the looking-ever-so-gay-in-this-movie Jack stopped her from doing so. Then on another lovely evening, he brought her to the stern of the ship and did the following scene which couples everywhere nowadays tend to mimic, and the you-jump-i-jump theory.

Jack: *...me wanna move me hands higher*

Certainly this scene will move the hearts of many romantics out there. Too bad lately the you-jump-i-jump concept is often misused. Nowadays people tend to do i-jump-alone. Exhibit A, Bintang Megamall in Miri. Not that Leonardo DiCaprio gives a damn about any romantic concepts, look at him! He just wanna lay his hands on those. you know. It's the same thing for all us males. When it comes to hot girls, it's our balls talking rather than our brains.

2) ***!

Or should I put it in a more appropriate manner - Intimate- err, Scene.

You sick bastards have been waiting for this one huh. Nothing much to add here, other than nailing the girl good. Nuff said!

What's for dinner!!!

says James Cameron.

Anyway yeah, to succeed in a relationship we've gotta do a Jack. All we've gotta do is nail the **** **** out of ******* ************ and **** ******!!!

3) Dramatize things: Be a Drama King/ Drama Queen

Spice up things a lil' bit. Don't keep things dull! When you go out on a date, keep things INTENSE and INTERESTING. Say you're going to point A, don't just take the direct route. Go to point A via point B, point C, Starbucks, point D, DOTA, point E then reach point A. Oh throw in Golden Lily just for the sake of killin' more time. Heck maybe you can even go visit Bui's house along the way!

Note of Caution: Bui might be half-naked when he's at home.

Rose decided to make Jack love her more. Yeah, one sex scene wasn't enough. She wants more! What better way to make a guy love you more than PROVING YOUR LOVE by doing the most ridiculous things out there.

Yeah let's maximize the picture for a better effect.

Rose wants to be with Jack. Jack's eyes have "I wanna bang you again" written all over em.

it would have been epic if she'd slipped and dropped down. imagine Jack looking from above, going all...

Anyway yeah. Rose jumped back due to her uber love for Jack. Here's the thing, she could have just said to the Titanic crew "NOOOO I'M STAYING WITH JACK". However, she decided to spice things up before reaching point A (staying with Jack on the sinking ship)

- Hold on to Jack's hand tight before letting go and agreeing to board the boat.

- Look up to him with those puppy eyes.

- Wait for the boat to be lowered several floors just for longer screen time to look at Jack.

- Look at Jack with those puppy eyes again.

- and again. (hopefully earning herself a Grammy Award, which she did not lololol)

- Then JUMP BACK INTO THE TITANIC.

- Oh not so simple, make sure that she doesn't get a clean jump. Cling on to the side of the ship for a few seconds and needing people to pull her back.

- Wait for Jack to scream, like he actually did in the movie, "ROSE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? ROSE!"

- Knowing that she nailed it, run all the way back to Jack and say the usual I-Love-You before hugging him and kissing him.

- Then lastly maybe get another sex scene in but too bad the Titanic was sinking so the lovely couple couldn't afford the time.

4) Hire another dude to make yourself feel like a HERO!

Yeah guys, (TAKE NOTE BUI), pay a lil cash to some dude to "harm" you and your beloved girl. Jack did it to perfection, hiring Rose's fiance Cal to chase after em with a gun and missing shots deliberately whilst Jack holds her hand like a man and led her on a runaway. Oh and make sure the gun has live ammunition of course.

wtf Cal looks like a fag here. What's with the hairdo and his eyes.

ah this is more like it. too bad he's wet. wait that doesn't sound right.

Right. After successfully avoiding all the fired shots (of course), don't forget to hold your beloved to your close and look into her eyes with your very own assured eyes. Remember to tell her that everything is going to be alright.

HUG HER TIGHT BUT NOT FOR TOO LONG IF YOU'RE ON A SINKING TITANIC. not too tight also. remember Bui.

5) BE A GENTLEMAN TO TOP IT ALL OFF WITH A BANG!

Russell Peters says BE A MAN! Well, remember to BE A GENTLEMAN also. Do the ladies first thingy. When you're going out on a date and going to a fine dining place, move the chair for her and let her sit first. When you're watching a sad movie, let her cry on your shoulder first before crying yourself like a pussy. When you think you're gonna fail your exam, remember to let her fail her own exam first before failing your own. And yeah when you're floating on the Atlantic Ocean and you found a floating piece from the ship, let her get on it first!

Rose, I swear, my balls are freezing.

And to top it all off with the best effect ever, Jack made sure that he stayed in the freezing water and died of hypothermia. or did he?

Jack: *okay i'm gonna play dead*

Perhaps he was just playing dead and wanting Rose to love him more and never let go! Yeah, never let go, that was his plan. Apparently Rose wasn't in sync with him, thinking that Jack has died she DID let him go. So when Rose let him go, he realized it too late and yeah. died of drowning rather than hypothermia.

So yeah guys, especially Bui, we CAN learn a lot from this movie aye? That's why when watching the movie, I realized that, its More than just a sinking ship!

BUT JACK WILL BE BACK TO TEACH US MORE!

Jack never forgot that Rose let him go.

It's gonna get really personal alright.

Ahoy!

Chris