More than just a sinking ship!

Titanic - The best piece during the 90s which blew everyone's mind away (that time) for it's realistic reincarnation of the tragic events of the sinking megaship on 15 April 1912. No doubt that everyone has watched one of the highest grossing movie of all time, only surpassed by James Cameron's very own Avatar, but upon rewatching it again last night I realised numerous points which we can learn from it in making sure we nail an A during relationships. Yeah, relationships woo! John WOO! Ok that's lame.

Prior to reading this, if you haven't watched Titanic before (WTF), go watch it. If you've watched it before, well, watch it again. If you don't give a flying damn about Titanic, well, GO WATCH IT.

Let's look at the supposedly "romantic" moments the main characters portrayed in the movie. Aww the lovely couple, Jack Dawson, played by the one and only Leonardo DiCaprio when he was still looking young, good and rather gay. Though it's much better than the old fart he looked like in Inception. And of course, Rose DeWitt Bukater, played by Kate Winslet, who never seems to grow old.

Seriously, Rose DEWITT BUKATER? LOL name but I guess poor Jack fell for her boobs.

Anyway, to my point,

1) KNOW WHERE TO HOLD THE GIRL

So they first met at the stern of the ship. Rose was about to jump to freeze her boobs off and die a sad death until the looking-ever-so-gay-in-this-movie Jack stopped her from doing so. Then on another lovely evening, he brought her to the stern of the ship and did the following scene which couples everywhere nowadays tend to mimic, and the you-jump-i-jump theory.

Jack: *...me wanna move me hands higher*

Certainly this scene will move the hearts of many romantics out there. Too bad lately the you-jump-i-jump concept is often misused. Nowadays people tend to do i-jump-alone. Exhibit A, Bintang Megamall in Miri. Not that Leonardo DiCaprio gives a damn about any romantic concepts, look at him! He just wanna lay his hands on those. you know. It's the same thing for all us males. When it comes to hot girls, it's our balls talking rather than our brains.

2) ***!

Or should I put it in a more appropriate manner - Intimate- err, Scene.

You sick bastards have been waiting for this one huh. Nothing much to add here, other than nailing the girl good. Nuff said!

What's for dinner!!!

says James Cameron.

Anyway yeah, to succeed in a relationship we've gotta do a Jack. All we've gotta do is nail the **** **** out of ******* ************ and **** ******!!!

3) Dramatize things: Be a Drama King/ Drama Queen

Spice up things a lil' bit. Don't keep things dull! When you go out on a date, keep things INTENSE and INTERESTING. Say you're going to point A, don't just take the direct route. Go to point A via point B, point C, Starbucks, point D, DOTA, point E then reach point A. Oh throw in Golden Lily just for the sake of killin' more time. Heck maybe you can even go visit Bui's house along the way!

Note of Caution: Bui might be half-naked when he's at home.

Rose decided to make Jack love her more. Yeah, one sex scene wasn't enough. She wants more! What better way to make a guy love you more than PROVING YOUR LOVE by doing the most ridiculous things out there.

Yeah let's maximize the picture for a better effect.

Rose wants to be with Jack. Jack's eyes have "I wanna bang you again" written all over em.

it would have been epic if she'd slipped and dropped down. imagine Jack looking from above, going all...

Anyway yeah. Rose jumped back due to her uber love for Jack. Here's the thing, she could have just said to the Titanic crew "NOOOO I'M STAYING WITH JACK". However, she decided to spice things up before reaching point A (staying with Jack on the sinking ship)

- Hold on to Jack's hand tight before letting go and agreeing to board the boat.

- Look up to him with those puppy eyes.

- Wait for the boat to be lowered several floors just for longer screen time to look at Jack.

- Look at Jack with those puppy eyes again.

- and again. (hopefully earning herself a Grammy Award, which she did not lololol)

- Then JUMP BACK INTO THE TITANIC.

- Oh not so simple, make sure that she doesn't get a clean jump. Cling on to the side of the ship for a few seconds and needing people to pull her back.

- Wait for Jack to scream, like he actually did in the movie, "ROSE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? ROSE!"

- Knowing that she nailed it, run all the way back to Jack and say the usual I-Love-You before hugging him and kissing him.

- Then lastly maybe get another sex scene in but too bad the Titanic was sinking so the lovely couple couldn't afford the time.

4) Hire another dude to make yourself feel like a HERO!

Yeah guys, (TAKE NOTE BUI), pay a lil cash to some dude to "harm" you and your beloved girl. Jack did it to perfection, hiring Rose's fiance Cal to chase after em with a gun and missing shots deliberately whilst Jack holds her hand like a man and led her on a runaway. Oh and make sure the gun has live ammunition of course.

wtf Cal looks like a fag here. What's with the hairdo and his eyes.

ah this is more like it. too bad he's wet. wait that doesn't sound right.

Right. After successfully avoiding all the fired shots (of course), don't forget to hold your beloved to your close and look into her eyes with your very own assured eyes. Remember to tell her that everything is going to be alright.

HUG HER TIGHT BUT NOT FOR TOO LONG IF YOU'RE ON A SINKING TITANIC. not too tight also. remember Bui.

5) BE A GENTLEMAN TO TOP IT ALL OFF WITH A BANG!

Russell Peters says BE A MAN! Well, remember to BE A GENTLEMAN also. Do the ladies first thingy. When you're going out on a date and going to a fine dining place, move the chair for her and let her sit first. When you're watching a sad movie, let her cry on your shoulder first before crying yourself like a pussy. When you think you're gonna fail your exam, remember to let her fail her own exam first before failing your own. And yeah when you're floating on the Atlantic Ocean and you found a floating piece from the ship, let her get on it first!

Rose, I swear, my balls are freezing.

And to top it all off with the best effect ever, Jack made sure that he stayed in the freezing water and died of hypothermia. or did he?

Jack: *okay i'm gonna play dead*

Perhaps he was just playing dead and wanting Rose to love him more and never let go! Yeah, never let go, that was his plan. Apparently Rose wasn't in sync with him, thinking that Jack has died she DID let him go. So when Rose let him go, he realized it too late and yeah. died of drowning rather than hypothermia.

So yeah guys, especially Bui, we CAN learn a lot from this movie aye? That's why when watching the movie, I realized that, its More than just a sinking ship!

BUT JACK WILL BE BACK TO TEACH US MORE!

Jack never forgot that Rose let him go.

It's gonna get really personal alright.

Ahoy!

Chris

5 saddest things to do alone (according to potatoslammers!!)

Doings things alone sucks, unless you really need to do it alone, like "private time" (sup guys& some girls) anyways here is a list of things that SUCKS IF YOU DO IT ALONE, and its really sad, and the other thing is yeah after living alone right now you can justify this for us here, if not, tell us something else, maybe we'll add in,
But apart from that, heres the top 5 saddest thing to do alone so please please please avoid all these and if all hopes fail, call a helpline or parents or prank call someone!

5) Eating alone 

                              yes its cool if you did this 
The case:
Well i'd say all of us already experienced this at least three times, and yes it sucks to eat alone, and well yeah it just really sucks. whats the funny thing is, heck this is actually some psychology problem, where people are just as sad there. Apart from that, its actually unhealthy, there are a lot of people out there knows how sad it is to eat alone and they rather skip a meal than actually eat alone, like this link here saying half of USA eats alone hence depression a lil bit, and this site here can help "teach" peeps how to eat alone....(wtf?). In addition to all these, theres actually a 9 step protocol on how to eat alone at wikihow..(wtf? they actually have stages to go through in this?) so yea..... depressingly sad.
The solution: 
Find some friends to hang out and eat, or eat with your family, sure they will go out with you if you sound sad and desperate.(Or if nobody wants to, its just because you're just a dick) and well there is another simpler solution, its called "tapau" or take-away. If you ever so end up in these shit, just cook at home, (its hard to screw up spaghetti and prego sauce), OR take away mac D or KFC or whatever meals there is, just just just dont... eat alone... unless you want to act cool in front of some peeps who'll just look at you peeps and say "O.o LONEEERRRRR"

4) Going shopping Alone

                                                ................................
The case: 
Going shopping alone, well at the shopping center, looking at stuffs, going into the SUB shop, ALONE, really sucks, like what these group of people have to say "looking at people awkwardly"..(really after going to shop alone do you need to have a stare-down with other groups of people)... WEIRD, and well when you go window shopping alone, you'll just get really weird and sad. Apart from that, shopping alone, looking around peeps with company, and especially if you're at a foreign country, it'll be quadrupole  madness. Apart from that, going out alone, peeps will look out at you guys, and say WTF is this person doing alone.
The solution:  
Well, go out with some friends if you don't want to shop alone. IF you do really need to shop alone, just get what you really need in and out no question asked. So apart from that, having a stroll in the park is healthier than window shopping alone and speaking of going to places alone....

3) Going Clubbing Alone 

         for this part playing daft punk while reading will be nice
The case:
Its friday night, you want to go have fun, its awesome to chill at clubs, meeting with girls socializing with friends, acting cool in front of peeps, showing off shits with your friends, doing stuffs with them and getting drunk and in the end like all epic stories in every movies, you forgot what just happen yesterday and start bullcrapping of stuffs to your pals the next day, so in this story as you can see, friends sort of play a big role in this. And well here are some peeps who talks about if its cool to go alone... so well you be the judge in this case. (well, ill add on another link where it be really weird just to read this)
The solution: 
Just.... don't go to clubs alone... i don't think theres any decent way to really sort of solve this, unless you really just want to go and meet up with other peeps. OR just being cool, acting awesome. OR its FRIDAY and you need to go somewhere on friday... speaking of friday....

2) Celebrating Your Birthday at TGI Fri's ALONE 

                                               it's Friday! Alone.. F*ck 
The case: 
One day, its your birthday! where else to celebrate better than a place where they give free stuffs during that epic day!! just one problem... you're alone... and yes it really sucked. ( I went to tgif alone one time, and i sat there eating drinking watching the game, and everyone around me are like at least 2 at the table.. gosh i was so alone till the waiter actually took some time to talk with me, thats sweet from her.. sad from me, and i can't imagine if you be celebrating your birthday alone there) so yeah its sad and really, wtf? AND wtf? theres a site teaching how to celebrate your birthday alone. And theres a site where girls celebrate alone too..
The solution: 
The sad thing is celebrating alone.. so go be with your family or get around with your friends, if you really need to celebrate alone... go online and do something else!! so enjoy your time and let do something else, like lets say..baking a cake? maybe?  so errmmm don't let it drag you down!! Still its better than.....

1) Watching movie ALONE 

             i walk a lonely road.......... towards my seat all alone..... 
The case: 
Well..... i just cant say this but... this really is sad.. and somehow there is a debate in the net saying its better to watch movie ALONE.. saying you can enjoy it and embrace it better. (personally... WTF?) Apart from that going to the movies alone... damn man... seriously..... just ... think about it first and well looks like this people are trying to justify why you should watch alone. tho in the end... theres actually theres a wikihow on how to have fun watching a movie alone. . . . . . . . . .
The solution: 
Just don't.. f*cking do it..... ever.. its just really really really really exponentially sad, its the ultimate emoness and... i did it before.. f*ck why did i say that.....


Written by,
Rolando